My love journey: Love after Divorce

It’s truly amazing how fast your life can change. One day I’m stuck in an unhappy marriage with two sons to finding the love of my life and sharing a daughter together. A lot of people on social media see us together and the fun we have together, but I think it’s fun sharing how we met.

So a little background story on my failing marriage with total transparency; I’ve been together with (we’ll call him D) D since sophomore year in high school. Of course during that time it’s all puppy love I’d call it. He was captain of the baseball, football and track team and everything was just all butterflies and roses. The rockiness started after we graduated from high school when real life started.

D left to college in Washington and I stayed home in Hawaii and went to a community college. That’s when I went a little crazy and let partying take over my life. Along with the partying, bad decisions came along with it. I was unfaithful, I didn’t care about school, and just plain immature and irresponsible.

We then had 2 sons and it was hard because I got pregnant at 19 and I was still learning how to be a responsible adult. Time went on and we just grew apart. We didn’t have anything in common, we barely talked to each other and we were both checked out of our marriage. We slept in different rooms and had completely separate lives and this went on for a few years.   We kind of just stuck it out because of the kids, and both of us just really didn’t take the initiative to actually end the marriage. One of the reasons was because I had no idea where to start when it came to divorce so I just didn’t do anything about it and D isn’t much of a talker. He’s a “whatever, go with the flow” type of guy.

I became very interested in law of attraction and manifestation so I remember writing in my journal one day listing all the things that I want to manifest and one of that was a a strong independent man that will love me and take care of me. I was so used to doing things on my own that I longed to have a man that would lead. I wanted a man that would take charge. I remember writing that down on October 3, 2021.

The on Sunday October 17, 2021, I took my boys to Kaimana beach. I ran into one of my best friends there and she was with her boyfriend at the time and his best friends. She ran up to me to say hi and she told me to come back so she could introduce me to those guys because she knew I was in search of a good man.

So before walking back to the car I stopped by where my friend was and she pulled me the side and told me she wanted to introduce me to this guy. She said he has a good job, he has his own place and very independent. So she introduced me to this guy named Te. He got up, smiled, gave me a hug and said hi.

I didn’t think too much of the interaction and a couple weeks passed. I was going through my instagram DM requests and found his message in there saying “It was nice meeting you at the beach, we should go get a drink sometime.” Of course my initial thought was “typical guy move” but I responded anyway. He gave me his number so I could text him when I was ready to hang out with him.

I let it sit for a few weeks because I wasn’t sure if he was a fuck boy or not haha. Then I actually ran into him again at the same beach while I was watching the sunset with my friends. I remember he was just so shy and didn’t talk much. (I would later find out that was definitely not how he was) He just said I was so beautiful and made him nervous which I thought was so sweet. Then I figured that seeing him again was a sign so I texted him that I was ready to get that drink.

We started texting everyday and got to know each other more and more. One day I was at a bar with my friends and he was at another sports bar with his friends. They were like five minutes away from each other so he asked me to stop by after. So I did and that was the first time we hung out together. I’m not sure if that’s considered a first date? But he did ask to hold my hand which was adorable.

It was at that moment I had this feeling inside that felt at ease. It felt as though our souls just knew each other. It sounds cheesy, but that’s the best way I could explain it. I remember telling my friends that the feeling I have with him is just so comfortable and it felt like we’ve been together for so long. We didn’t have any awkwardness. Everything felt like it just fit.

From then on, everything moved super quick, but it didn’t seem that way because of how comfortable we were. We were official on December 12, 2021, I was pregnant by January 2022 and we moved in together in March 2022. Looking back at how fast it all happened is crazy, but it just worked. We have the most supportive family and they were on our side from day one. My kids love him and the transition was so easy.

Although things were great, I still had to finalize my divorce. I know, I was technically still married so luckily my friend referred me to her attorney that made the process so incredibly easy and so affordable. It was extremely easy as well because this separation was very mutual, I was just the one who had to take the initiative. The only problem was that in the state of Hawaii, you are not allowed to get a divorce while you are pregnant so I lied. I said I wasn’t. It took a few months to process and by the time I had to get some papers notarized, I had to hide my growing belly. It took about 6 months to process, and just in time for the baby’s birth.

It was such crazy ride and it’s so hard to believe that this all happened within a year. I believe it now when people say that a lot can change in a year, I remember just longing to have a love in my life to share memories with and laugh with and have fun with. I got that. We’ve had so much fun together, we truly are best friends, but we also have our arguments. We’re not a perfect couple, but it’s our experience together that has brought us to where we are today. We are constantly learning and growing as a couple.

I can’t wait for you to continue to follow us on our journey together. It’s kind of fun because those who have followed me on social media from the begging were able to see the journey we’ve been on from the start. I hope you continue to follow us as we grow together and hope to be an inspiration in some way.

If you’re someone who is going through a similar situation, or has any questions about divorce in Hawaii, feel free to ask and I’d love to answer it to the best of my ability.

Thank you so much for reading

Rachel Ann

Rae Luxe Co