Life as a blended family
Life as a blended family is going so much smoother than I could imagine, but of course it had to take some getting used to. Luckily I have the support of my family, my ex-husband's family and my other half's family. I feel like without all of their support being a blended family wouldn't be going as smoothly as it is.
Being as Te didn’t have any kids when we met, it did take a little adjusting because going from 0 to 2 kids in a matter of months is a big transition and I appreciate him so much for being willing to be another male figure in my son’s lives. He never once second guessed our relationship because I had kids and I feel that it takes a real man to step up to help raise kids that aren’t biologically his own.
The first time I had the boys meet Te was about a few weeks into our relationship which may sound crazy because it doesn’t sound like a long time, but I had this feeling inside me that I knew he was the one so it didn’t seem to soon to me. We took them to Dave and Busters and hung out. I didn’t introduce Te as my boyfriend yet, just so they had time to get used to him. They ended up having so much fun together and that was a big relief for me.
After a couple months we got a place together and that’s when our transition really began. My kids had to get used to a new home with me and Te and also with their dad. At first I was really nervous about their transition and wasn’t sure if it would be too much on them going back and forth to different houses, but they ended up transitioning just fine. The biggest challenge at first was getting our schedule down as we juggled the kids from house to house. Like any new routine, it takes some getting used to and learning from what doesn’t work and after about a couple months, we sort of perfected our schedule between us and their dad.
I believe what made the transition so easy for the boys was letting them know that their dad and I still love them and that would never change and also showing them that even though we’re not together, we still get along with each other. I think it’s so important for the kids to see that so they feel at ease with either parent and it makes it a lot easier on them.
I am very fortunate that all families from all parties are so supportive. My ex husbands parents and my parents will always help with their sports schedules and taking them to games and practices if we’re unable to. Te’s parents are also so supportive when it comes to our family and will gladly watch the boys if we need. Also when I got pregnant only after 2 months with Te, my family, my ex husbands family and Te’s family never judged and to me that was a huge relief.
Now, the boys are so comfortable with the boys and vice versa. Te helps them with homework when they need, plays with them and takes them to practice if I need him to and I am so grateful for that.
I am aware that I am very fortunate about my situation and not everyone has the same ease. I thank God everyday for getting me to where I am now with my family.
I really feel that if you are in the same position as I was; single with 2 kids, I feel that it’s extremely important to find a love that is ready to step up to the plate because not everyone is. It may be too much for some people to handle and that’s okay. I feel that it’s just really important for the other person to know what they’re getting into. You want someone on board with you from the start. Kids are one of the biggest part of your life and you want someone who is willing to take that on with you. I am so blessed to have found someone who was willing to do that for me.
Not every family situation is the same so below are links to some books that really helped me through this big transition
