Balancing Life as a Blended Family

Oct 31

Balancing Life as a Blended Family

Hey everyone! Welcome back to the blog! Today, I want to dive into a topic that’s very close to my heart: balancing life as a blended family. As some of you may know, I have three kids and am navigating the beautiful journey of being in a blended family with my current boyfriend. This experience brings its own unique challenges and rewards, and I’d love to share some insights with you.

As some of you know, I have three kids, and I’m in a blended family with my current boyfriend, which brings its own set of challenges and rewards. Everyone in a blended family has a different experience so, I thought I’d share some insights on what this journey has been like for us and maybe hopefully relate to some of you.

A little background, when I met my current boyfriend Te, It was just me and the boys. Then about a year later, Te and I had our daughter.

Lets pause or a momentt, do you want to hear something crazy? It has been almost 3 years since I’ve been dating Te, and my ex and Te still haven’t even met in person yet! There’s no fighting between the two, they just haven’t gotten around to it

Understanding a Blended Family

First off, let’s talk about what a blended family really means. It’s not just about two families coming together; it’s about building new relationships, understanding different backgrounds, and creating a home where everyone feels included and loved. In some way, we’re adjusting to a new life.

The Importance of Communication

One of the biggest lessons I've learned is the importance of communication and I’m talking about communication with your ex. It’s not something I thought about until my dad had little talk with me. He explained to me that a lot of times with kids who have divorce parents, they sometimes put the blame on themselves or just feel heartbroken when they see the two people they love and look up to are no longer a solid unit. I was doing hair for a wedding recently and the daughter of the bride was talking to me and was saying “I wish my mom and dad would get back together, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen.” And it really hit me that my kids may not tell me directly, but it could be affecting them I a way that Im unaware of.

So anyway, my dad told me that it’s so important that the kids see us communicating with each other nicely in front of them so they feel at ease knowing that we’re still on the same team. For us, luckily the transition was really smooth and didn’t face too much resistance. I think the most important thing for the kids was to make sure they knew they are loved from all people in their lives even if the living situations are a little different.

Prioritizing Quality Time

Now, let’s talk about quality time and this is where I’m going to share where I struggle. This is something that I wish we had more of with my boys. It is hard because their schedule is packed with sports so we don’t get to spend too much quality time together. With our busy schedules, it can be tough to find moments to bond as a family. I get the boys at the beginning of the week, and their dad gets them during the second half of the week so that includes weekends. So when I have my boys, it’s on school days, and they usually have a game or practice after school, so there’s not much time for us to spend time together. So I do prioritize making the little time we do spend with each other fun. I do wish I could do more fun things with them and I’m working on figuring something out. My relationship with their dad is very easy going and if I wanted to take them on a night he usually has them, he’d be totally fine with it, it’s just the sports that really take up a lot of their schedule. So if any of you have any suggestions for me, please share them with me because they only have one childhood and I feel like I’m missing a lot of it.

Something I want to be more aware of is respecting each child’s individual needs. Each of my kids has their own personality and preferences. So, I want to make more of an effort to spend one-on-one time with each child to strengthen those unique relationships. Even if it’s as simple as taking them for ice cream or the park. Sometimes I get really down on myself because I feel like my mom and even my sister in law have better relationships with them because they like to spoil them. And I can’t always get everything they want to they run to my mom and their aunty. So I think by spending more one on one quality time with them will make a big difference.

Embracing Patience

And let’s not forget about patience! Blending families takes time. There will be bumps in the road, but it’s all part of the journey. We remind ourselves to be patient and kind, especially when things get a little chaotic. Because again, we’re dealing with multiple parties and making sure everyone is on the same page can be a little bit chaotic and stressful.

Conclusion

So, if you're navigating a blended family, like me, just know that you're not alone. Embrace the journey and we have to remind ourselves to celebrate the little victories, and cherish the love that is growing in so many ways. Now, there’s just more people involved in your life to love.

Until next time, take care!